Letters To Stan
by CharmedMoon84
Summary: After Stan's death from a hit and run, his friends and family each express their grief through letters.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Stan:

Two days ago, my life came to a complete halt. I remember the events of that day too well, because I had been with you. The two of us had planned to go see a movie, but you needed movie money, so you stepped off the curb in order to head across the street to your mom's workplace to ask for money. But you had gotten to the halfway point of the road when that car came barreling down the street, heading directly towards you.

I could only watch in horror as the car hit you full on. Even from my position across the street, I could see the slightest grimace of pain appear in your face and I vaguely remember screaming out your name as I rushed across the road to where you lay on your back next to the curb. Once I'd reached your side, I knelt down beside you. Passerby were on their phones, calling 911, but I tuned them out.

Our gazes met and held as you struggled to breathe. I'm no doctor, but from the sound of your breathing, I knew some internal damage had been done. I heard the sound of a scream and I glanced behind me, only to see your mom rushing towards me. She fell to her knees beside me, tears already in her eyes. You managed to give both me and your mom a brief smile before your eyes fluttered closed, never to open again.

True friends always


	2. Chapter 2

To my darling boy:

Today, your dad and I put you to rest six feet under. It's not right or fair to have buried you at the age of sixteen. During the funeral, your friends sat with me, your dad and your sister. I remember glancing over at your best friend sitting beside me and I noticed the silent tears of grief streaming down his otherwise stony facial features as he just stared at your casket. I remained silent, knowing nothing I said could ease his feelings of pain at having been witness to your untimely death. Once the funeral had ended and the casket containing your body had been lowered into the earth, he just stared at the grave marker that had the dates of your birth and death as well as your name carved into the granite.

I glanced over at his parents, who had also come to the funeral, before I walked away. I turned back at hearing his furious yell of "No!" before he threw himself on the ground in front of your gravestone and began beating at the earth with his fists while begging you to come back in a tearful voice. His parents tried to gently lead him away, but he angrily fought them. As he struggled against them, his fist flew out and hit his mom's cheek. She ignored it, knowing he hadn't meant to and managed to pull him into an embrace. He sobbed long and hard into her chest. I watched him sob with a heaviness in my heart.

Your devoted mom


	3. Chapter 3

To the best boyfriend:

I found myself standing at the cemetery gates today and briefly debated whether to enter the cemetery or just turn and walk away. But my need to visit you won out, so I pushed open one of the gates and made my way among the headstones until I came to your gravesite.

I stood there for a few minutes,, just staring at your name and dates of birth and death that were carved into the granite surface of your headstone. Tears came to my eyes as I realized that I would never again look into your bright blue eyes. As I continued to stand there, the memories of you and I being in a relationship or not came forward into my mind's eye.

All those times where you couldn't help but lose your lunch because of me often bugged me, but looking back, I realize it was because you liked me so much, to the point of nervousness, I might add. Now, though, you've gone and I regret that I'll never get to hear those three tiny little words from you. I know we were sort of young, but I wish you could now.

I know I'll find love one day with someone else, but you'll always be my first love.

Your forever girlfriend


	4. Chapter 4

To a good friend:

I may not have been considered your best friend, but you had always been considered one of my friends. True, we might not have always seen eye to eye on certain things, but that never really seemed to come between us as far as being friends. Attending your funeral made me realize that my inability to be killed on a forever basis didn't mean you also had that same ability to avoid dying. If only it had been me killed that day instead of you, but even I can't undo what's already been done.

The next time I kick the bucket, I hope I'll be able to pass along any message you might have for your bff so he'll be able to hopefully start healing. I've never seen him this depressed, but then again, he's depressed because he's lost you, his best friend. I know I might not have the same close knit bond that's been present between you and the red haired member of our tiny group, but I miss hanging out with you.

Anyway, I can't help but get the feeling that your passing has somehow weakened the bond between the four of us. I hope that it won't make us part ways, but there's so much stress between the three of us who've survived, I wouldn't be suprised by that.

Your friend


	5. Chapter 5

To my only nephew:

It's your uncle here. I don't think your mom's coping very well with your death. Neither is your red haired friend. I haven't seen him or your other two friends all that often since your funeral. Your dad and sister are both trying to help your mom cope with your death, but they've got their own period of mourning to go through.

I also have my own mourning period to go through as well. It's my opinion that your death has somehow changed things here and I don't think it's all for the better either. I saw your girlfriend today and something seems off about her, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is.

I get the feeling that she's concealing something from her parents, your parents, sister and your friends. I suppose we'll all find out one of these days. Anyway, if I could punish the hit and run driver who denied you the chance to wed and create a family of your own, I'd do so in a heartbeat, but only if I could avoid getting myself arrested.

I still find it hard to believe that you're gone forever. But you'll be waiting for us to join you when it's the right time.

From your favorite uncle


	6. Chapter 6

Hey son:

Guess it's my turn now. I no longer have you to do male things together. No more playing one on one football or whatever. I'm not the best at this letter writing stuff, but I'll try not to bungle it up this time. I can remember the day you came into your mom's and my lives sixteen years ago. The day of your arrival into this world had resulted in some complications for your mom, but you came sliding out into the world with a loud, piercing wail.

I was more excited to know that I had a son at long last, but your mom was also delighted to have a healthy baby boy. Both of us were so taken with you that we failed to realize that we were causing your sister to become jealous and bitter towards you. I'm not bungling things in my letter to you so far. I went to go visit your final resting place today, only to find your best friend and girlfriend were already there and quietly talking among themselves.

I caught snatches of their conversation before I cleared my throat, which alerted them to my presence. They met my gaze before they each mumbled 'hello' and and both gave me my chance to be alone at your gravesite.

Your sometimes odd dad


	7. Chapter 7

To my brother:

I know I found ways to take my annoyances out on you when we were younger, but ever since your untimely departure, I've become an only child, much like I'd been three or four years before you were born. I remember the last conversation we had just before you left the house. Ok, it wasn't exactly a conversation. It was more like an arguement. Looking back, I said some things to you that I now regret saying.

I never would have said those things to you had I known it was the last time I'd ever see you alive. In the middle of our arguement, your best friend showed up and interrupted the fight by inviting you to the movies. Still angry by what I'd said to you, you accepted your best friend's movie invite and the two of you left the house, firmly shutting the front door behind you.

It wasn't until mom and dad came home, crying, that I even found out that you were no longer among the living. It took a good half hour to forty five minutes for the reality of your death to sink in for me and I gave into my grief, despite my ingrained anger towards you, which remained from our younger years.

Your big sister


	8. Chapter 8

To my boyfriend:

It's now been a few weeks since you left me behind. I went to the doctor's today and she confirmed that I'm going to have your child. Half of me was elated at the news but the other half of me regrets that you won't get to see the birth of your son or daughter. I plan to keep our child, because a part of you will always be with me in the physical world. If our child's female, I'll name her Jewel. But if our child's male, I'll name him Jack.

I'll attempt to write a letter once a month to let you know of our child's delevopment in my belly, so you'll know how he or she is doing. I really wish you were still alive to help me raise our child, but I know you'll be watching over me and our child from heaven. When I told my parents that I was having your child, they were both shocked and furious with me.

Dad insisted I have an abortion, but I stoutly refused to do so, because I intended to raise your child on my own. When my parents saw I wouldn't agree to the abortion, they suggested I give up your child for adoption when he or she is born. I also rejected that suggestion, because I wasn't about to have another couple raise the child we both created.

Your loving and pregnant girlfriend


	9. Chapter 9

To my departed son:

I received the news that I would become a grandma when your girlfriend announced to me, your dad and sister that she was carrying your son or daughter during her visit to us today. Needless to say, I was delighted by her news, but your dad and sister seemed less then thrilled about the news of your girlfriend's pregnancy.

But my delight at hearing of your girlfriend's pregnancy was tempered by my grief at losing you too soon. All the same, some part of you, no matter how small, will be present in your son or daughter. Your girlfriend's decided on the name Jewel if your child's female and the name Jack if the baby's male.

Both of those names sound good, no matter what your child's gender is. Before your girlfriend left, I asked her if she'd been experiencing morning sickness, because I had experienced morning sickness while I carried you for nine months.

Your girlfriend admitted to not having any sign of morning sickness, which convinced me that she would give me, your dad and sister a granddaughter and niece, but I didn't tell your girlfriend of my suspicions.

Your loving mom


	10. Chapter 10

To my best friend:

I met with your girlfriend today, because she had something to tell me. Of all the things I was expecting her to tell me, I wasn't prepared for her to reveal that she was carrying your son or daughter in her belly. Once she'd announced her big bombshell to me, she waited for my reaction.

I just sat there in shocked silence for a few seconds before I felt myself smiling slightly for the first time in the two weeks since your unplanned departure. She took my smile to mean I was thrilled by her pregnancy, which I was. I admitted that I was delighted by her news, because it meant that a small part of you will live on in your daughter or son.

Your girlfriend also revealed that she had no intention of giving up your son or daughter for adoption, because she wanted to keep your child and raise it. I asked if she'd chosen a godparent for your son or daughter and she said she hadn't yet, because she didn't know which of your friends would be best suited to be godparent to your unborn child.

Always best friends


	11. Chapter 11

Hey nephew:

Seems that you managed to concieve a child of your own prior to your unexpected passing. I think that's wonderful, because it means that I'll be a great uncle to your daughter or son. Your mom couldn't wait to tell me the good news. because she was so excited to be a grandma. I wouldn't be suprised if your redhaired friend became godfather to your daughter or son.

That's just my feeling, but it's ultimately up to your girlfriend, since she's the one who's carrying your daughter or son in her belly. In my previous letter to you, I metioned that your death had caused a negative outlook on the town, but obviously I was mistaken about that once I learned that your off again, on again girlfriend was pregnant.

Your mom's confident that your girlfriend's expecting a girl, but I'm content to wait until your girlfriend gives birth before I find out what the baby's gender is. I think your redhaired friend is hoping to be named godfather to your daughter or son, but again, it's up to your girlfriend. I'll miss you the rest of my life, but half of you will live on in your daughter or son.

Your uncle


	12. Chapter 12

Hey dude:

The two of us never saw eye to eye on certain things over the years, but I suppose we had some form of a friendship between the two of us. It might not have been a super tight friendship like the one you and the red haired member of our present trio had, but at least there was one. Speaking of your best friend, I rarely see him around town that much. Out of the three of us who remain of the one time foursome, your death not only affected him the most, but it also hit him the hardest.

I thought I'd try my hand at addressing a letter to you, since your family, friends and girlfriend are doing the same thing. There were times during our childhood where I would make some snide comment about you. Looking back, I wish I could take some of those snide comments back, but I can't. I may not have been there when that damn driver struck you with his car and made you suffer for a few minutes before you died, but it hadn't taken very long before I learned of your departure from this life.

The way I found out was when your best friend came by my house to tell me that you were no longer alive. I opened the door at hearing his knock and noticed that his eyes were puffy and red rimmed from all the crying he'd done prior to coming over. He asked to come in because he had something to tell me, so I allowed him to come in.

Once inside, he broke down in sobs and it took a few minutes before he calmed down enough to tell me of your death.


	13. Chapter 13

Hey best friend forever:

I went over to your house today, because your mom needed me to help her go through the things in your bedroom, things you wanted me to have in the event of your unexpected death. The moment I entered your room, I could sense subtle traces of your presence in the room.

Memories of sleepovers we had during our childhood flooded through me and I sat down on your bed just before the tears silently streamed down my face. Through my tears, I noticed the framed photo of the two of us that was on your night table and I picked it up. I looked at our happy faces and noticed that our arms were around each other's shoulders.

Your mom had taken the picture and had given me the duplicate photo. Fury that you'd left me behind when we'd planned to both leave this life at the same time when we were old filled me and I hurled the framed photo at the opposite wall of your bedroom and watched it shatter in an explosion of wood and glass.

Hearing the shattering of the wood and glass of the framed photo, your mom ran into the room and noticed me seated on your bed while fresh tears of grief coursed down my face. Taking a seat beside me on the bed, she held me close as I sobbed. Her gaze went to the remains of the framed photo lying on the floor and knew my grief for you was the reason why it was in a pile.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey llittle brother:

I saw your girlfriend today and I asked her how she and my niece or nephew are doing. She admitted that both she and your unborn child are doing well. I glanced down at her still flat stomach and I felt myself smiling slightly. It's now been just two months since your death and I'm slowly adjusting to the fact that I no longer have a little brother.

There's moments where I find myself crying for you, but there's also moments where I flash back to the first memory I have of you from sixteen years ago. Mom had just brought you into the world and dad had placed me on mom's hospital bed so I could get my first glimpse of you. All I could see of you was your face that peeked out of the blue blanket that you were currently bundled inside of.

I wasn't sure what to do with you, but mom gently placed you into my arms and allowed me to hold you. You looked right at me and gave me a tiny smile. I returned your tiny smile and then mom took you back out of my arms in order to feed you. I guess that's when my bitterness towards you must have begun.

Your sis


	15. Chapter 15

Dear son:

I've not been doing all that well in the weeks since your death. Both your dad and sister have tried to help me start living my life again, but I've fallen into a depression, which I realize must have begun about a week after you were laid to rest. Most days, I just lay in bed and cry for your loss. The last memory I have of you alive was right after the car had hit you. I remember kneeling in the street next to your best friend and looking down into your slightly bloodied face.

I glanced over at your best friend and saw that he was trying to hold back his tears, but wasn't doing so well. They trickled down his face as he seemed to realize that you weren't going to survive the hit and run. You struggled to speak, but blood only bubbled out of your mouth. I exchanged a glance with your best friend and both of us knew you had been badly injured.

Shifting my gaze back to you, I watched you give both me and your best friend the briefest of smiles before your eyelids fluttered closed. It was in that moment that both your best friend and I knew that you had left this realm forever. I wrapped my arms around your best friend and held him close as we both gave into our shared grief together.

Till we meet again,

Your mom


	16. Chapter 16

Dear nephew:

I managed to track down the driver whose car hit you and paid her a visit. Once I explained who I was and why I was there, I asked her why she didn't stop to help you after she'd struck you with her car. She admitted that she hadn't stopped to help you due to all the people that were present at the site. She asked me how you were doing and I told her that you'd suffered some internal damage and hadn't survived the hit and run.

Upon hearing that you'd died after being struck by her car, she began sobbing. I decided to leave her house and made my way to the front door, when her voice made me pause. She approached me and asked me if I'd turn her into the police. I told her I wasn't sure and left the house. I headed away from her house and eventually found myself at the cemetery gates.

I wondered if I should spend time at your gravesite or not for a few minutes before I walked through the two open cemetery gates and threaded my way through the gravesites. I finally reached your final place of rest, which was by itself beneath the large pine tree that you were often found at, either seated on a branch or seated against the tree base.


	17. Chapter 17

To my son's best friend:

From the first time you and my son met, the two of you became virtually unseparable. The two of you would do things together whenever possible. I'd never seen such a tight friendship that resembled the friendship between most male siblings. I've watched the two of you experience things in your own way over the years.

The two of you have weathered such things as illness and huge fallouts but both of you have come through those events. In the weeks since your death, I've noticed a change in my son. He barely touches his food, has nights where his sleep is fitful and barely leaves his room anymore. I think your death has caused my son to become severly depressed, which has me worried that he'll some how commit suicide just to join you in heaven and end his pain, which your death has caused him.

I hate seeing him like this, but I'm at a loss on what to do for him. I want to see him happy again, but with the pain of your recent death causing his heart to slowly break, I'm not sure if I'll get to see him smile. His grief for you is still too fresh and raw right now.

From your best friend's worried mom


	18. Chapter 18

Hey young man:

It's your dad again. Things around here haven't improved any in the two and a half months since your death. I suppose the one bright spot that came from your death is that of your girlfriend's pregnancy. Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled to become a first time grandpa. I don't care if your unborn child is male or female. I just hope it'll be born healthy. The two baby names that your girlfriend's settled on will suit your child, regardless if it's male or female.

Sixteen was way too young an age for you to depart this life. I think of all the things you'll never get to do now. Graduate high school, attend college and marry the girl of your dreams are just a few things I can think of that your death will keep you from doing now. On a different note, I saw your best friend today and couldn't help but notice the change in his appearance.

His head was down as he walked by me, so he didn't notice me. As he shuffled by me, I noticed the rumpled state of his clothing and I also noticed just how matted and unkempt his hair was. Seeing him like that made me realize that he was the hardest hit by your passing because of how close the two of you had been.

I also realized that he'd been present when you'd been hit by that car and had been by your side when you'd suffered for those few minutes before you'd passed away.

Your dad


	19. Chapter 19

Dear boyfriend:

I'm now in my third month of pregnancy. Both my mom and dad have realized that I've got my heart set on being a good mother to your child, despite the fact that I'm only fifteen. This child is the only tangible link I've got to you. I only have bouts of morning sickness when I first wake up, but they tend to go away as the day progresses.

I've got a really good feeling that our child's female, but an upcoming ultrasound will hopefully confirm my suspicions. The ultrasound's set for next week. Your mom's offered to go with me to the doctor's for the ultrasound, which I've accepted.

I suppose I'm coping with the fact that you're no longer among the living. I went by the cemetery today in order to pay you a visit, but I saw your uncle already at your gravesite. I didn't want to bother him, so I turned to leave.

As I did however, I stepped on a twig, which made it snap under my foot. Hearing the twig break, your uncle turned away from your grave. Our gazes met and held for the briefest of seconds before I looked away and mumbled my apologies.

I started to walk away, but his hand around my arm brought me to a stop. Our eyes met and held a second time as he asked me how I was holding up. I told him that I was coping with your death one day at a time.

Your girlfriend


	20. Chapter 20

Hey man:

It's me again. I keep hoping I'll kick the bucket so I can pass along some sort of a message to your best friend, but each day that passes denies me the chance to have a fatal accident. I feel conflicted by this one change, because I'm relieved to not kick the bucket every single day, but then it means I can't visit you and give your best friend the message you might have for him.

I find myself wondering why I've not kicked the bucket yet, but then I wonder if death decided to give me a slight reprieve from all this, which I suppose I'm grateful for, but then I feel guilty for thinking like that, because you're lying six feet under the earth and I'm not. Funny how our roles have been reversed, isn't it? I wish with all my heart that I could go back in time and been the one who had been hit by that car instead of you. If I had, you'd still be alive.

I could wish that all day for you, but all I can do in your memory is live eacch day. I grieve for you, but it's nowhere near the level of grief your best friend is experiencing in the wake of your death. I stopped by your grave today and found that your girlfriend was at your gravesite as I approached it. The two of us only looked at each other, but remained silent.

Your friend


	21. Chapter 21

Hey little brother:

Your girlfriend and I met for lunch today. I don't usually do that, but I made an exception for your girlfriend since she's the one who's carrying my niece in her belly. The only way I found out about the baby's gender was when mom told me after she had come back from last week's ultrasound. I guess the baby name of Jack is out of the running since your girlfriend's pregnant with a girl.

During our lunch, I asked her how she'd been holding up in the now three months since your passing. She told me she was doing her best to be strong for the sake of your unborn child. I still find it hard to believe it's now been three months since you've left this world for good. If only you were alive today. It's not just me who's feeling the painful sting of your death.

Mom, dad, your girlfriend and most of your close friends plus our uncle and myself are feeling the effects that your death's caused. Things aren't going to be the same without you around, that's for sure.

I suppose the major downside of your premature death is just how depressed your best friend's become over the last three months.

From your sis


	22. Chapter 22

Dear son:

Today marks the third month since you've departed this world. Jewel's now the offical name that your girlfriend's settled on. I'm so thrilled to have a granddaughter. You beat your older sister as far as giving me my first grandchild. Your girlfriend's promised me that she'll keep me informed of my grandchild's progess in her belly as the months go by.

Like your besy friend's mom. I'm also worried about him, given just how devastated he's become since your death. But her biggest fear is that he'll kill himself just to put an end to his pain and be with you in heaven. I don't know what to do for her in the event that he does kill himself in order to see you again.

He truly misses you, even more then I do, based on just how close you both were. I hope he won't take his own life, but given his severe depression, I can't say I'd be suprised if he did. I don't mean to be callous about your best friend, but if he did do something like that, he'd no longer be in all this pain over your death.

I'm sure your best friend's mom doesn't feel the same way I do about your best friend's depressed state.

Your mom


	23. Chapter 23

Hey dude:

I decided today was the best day to end my pain and be reunited with you again. I've settled on a gun as my way out. Figured that the cemetery's the best location for me to join you. One bullet ought to do it. I've been in too much pain over your passing.

I've left a note for my parents, explaining why I can't keep living my life while you're deceased. Remember our blood pact to die at the same time? There's still time for me to join you. I decide it's now or never, so I sit down in front of your grave. I want your headstone to be the last thing I see.

I hope my parents can find it in their hearts to forgive me for what I'm about to do here. I just can't handle being here without you. I have the gun resting against my temple and I've got my finger resting on the trigger. I'm preparing myself to pull the trigger and put an end to my pain, when I suddenly feel your presence.

Don't try and stop me, dude. Your death and my pain are the only reason I'm doing this. I squeeze the trigger and feel the single bullet enter the side of my head. Next thing I know, I'm looking down at my body before my gaze goes to you. The two of us both turn and walk into the light together.

I know my parents will mourn me, but at least I've been reunited with you in death, just like we'd planned in the first place.


	24. Chapter 24

Hey man:

It's only been a couple of days since the trio you left behind has gotten reduced to a duo. Ever since your best friend took his own life, I've got no one to pick on, aside from the blonde member of the present duo. I find myself unwilling to heckle your girlfriend in her present pregnancy. She'd either cry or punch my lights out, because her pregnancy's made her kind of wonky.

The last time she'd come close to punching my lights out didn't make me happy, but looking back on that moment, I can't say I didn't deserve it. The two members of a former trio will try our best to live on in your absence, as well as the absence of your best friend. At least your best friend's no longer in a severe depression or in pain, which were both caused by your death.

Word has it that the cemetery caretaker was the one who found your best friend's body lying facedown on your grave, an empty gun lying beside him on the grass. His parents are heartbroken about your best friend's death. Before your best friend took his own life, he left a suicide note asking his parents to forgive him and said his last request was to be buried beside you beneath the large pine tree on the hilltop. His parents will honor that request when the funeral takes place next week.

Your friend


	25. Chapter 25

Hey dude:

I wish I could see you and the former red haired member of the one time trio again, but I can't. Somehow, death's stripped me of the ability to be restored to life after going through a fatal event shortly after your passing from this life. Who knows, man. Maybe it was a trade off or something like that. All I know is I've been experiencing close calls, but they never cross the line of turning fatal for me in the three and a half months since your departure.

In all honesty, it kind of sucks, you know? I nearly got run over today, but the car swerved around me, only to hit someone else instead. I don't know the person that the car hit instead of me, but it wasn't the only other member of the survivng duo, besides me, of course. I saw your girlfriend today and noticed that she had the beginnings of a bulge around her stomach.

I realized that she was close to entering her second trimester of pregnancy with your daughter. She's been living with your parents ever since her parents kicked her out of her house, which was because she refused to abort the pregnancy or give the baby up for adoption. I can't blame her for not caving into either option, because her child will have portions of your gentics in her veins.

Your friend always


	26. Chapter 26

To my sweet boy:

I attended the funeral of your best friend today. In the week since he took his own life and had his body discovered by the graveyard caretaker, his parents have been deeply grieving for him, but at least his pain's over now. The fact that he had to resort to suicide just to be reunited with you in death showed me that the two of you were inseparable in life.

I know I'll miss seeing your redhaired best friend around town, but at least he's no longer in a sever depression that was brought on by your death. I met with your best friend's mom the other day and she admitted to not handling the suicide of her oldest son all that well. I gently reminded her of the blood pact you and her son made to depart this life at the same time.

She nodded slightly and admitted that she hadn't exactly known about that, which I also admitted to not knowing about the pact. But both of us agreed that her son's death meant that he was no longer suffering from the pain of your death. I asked her what she'd do for her son's funeral service and she said she'd decided on having a proper service.

Your mom


	27. Chapter 27

Dear Stan:

It's only been a few days since both I and my son's mom have laid him to rest beside your grave on the hilltop beneath the large pine tree, where I often found the two of you just hanging out together or seated on one of the tree branches, just busy chatting away. It's only fitting that I honor my son's last request to be buried alongside you under the branches of the old pine tree because of all the happy memories you and my son created during your childhood. I can't even begin to count the number of times I would often find the two of you seated together against the base of the pine tree.

Ever since your death four months ago from the hit and run, my son's happiness had slowly disappeared because of his deep seated grief for you. When his mom and I found his suicide note, which he'd left displayed on his bed, I realized what he planned to do in an attempt to stop his pain. His mom wanted to stop him from ending his own life, but I reminded her that if we did, he'd still be suffering and miserable from being separated from you.

At least the two of you are together in heaven again. I re-read my son's suicide note today and I had to stop when I got to the part where he begged both me and his mom to forgive him for taking his own life, because I could understand why he chose not to continue living while you were six feet down in the earth.

Your best friend's dad


	28. Chapter 28

Dear boyfriend:

I promised to keep you informed of our daughter's progress in my belly. I'm now four months along in the pregnancy. Jewel decided to take her first pot shot at my stomach today. I wasn't planning on feeling her kick this soon, so when she did, I was a little startled by it. Your sister, who was seated next to me on the couch, noticed my startled expression and asked if her niece had just kicked. I could only nod yes. Feeling my daughter kick made tears come to my eyes, because you should have been present to feel her kick for the first time.

All those momentual points in a baby's life that's usually witnessed by both its parents will only be witnessed by me, because you won't see our daughter get her first tooth, take her first unsteady step or even say her first word, all because of that driver who hit you with her car. I think her name was Joyce Winters.

Your uncle came by your house today to see how I and his great niece were doing. I said we were both doing well and that my daughter was healthy, because your mom's making sure i'm eating well for both myself and her grand daughter. Both your parents welcomed me into their house after my parents kicked me out, all because I wouldn't cave into their demands.

Your girlfriend


	29. Chapter 29

Hey dude:

Ever since I lost my ability to leave my body for short periods of time, both you and our redheaded friend have managed to find another way to come visit me, since neither of you are part of the physical world anymore. Last night, I dreamed that I was standing in a meadow when a bright light appeared a few feet away from me and the two of you walked out of that bright light. I watched the two of you approach me as the light behind you slowly faded.

Standing side by side, the two of you were smiling and i found myself wondering why I was there to begin with. Our redheaded friend silently told me I needed to pass along a message to both your parents. After your best friend had told me the reason why I'd appeared in that meadow, you told me that you had a message to give to your pregnant girlfriend.

The moment both of you had given me the messages intended for your parents and expectant girlfriend, the bright light again appeared behind you and the two of you turned to re-enter the light. i watched the two of you walk into the light together before it faded and I felt myself returning to my body. I sprang out of bed, grabbed a pencil and three pieces of blank paper in order to not forget the messages you had for your parents and pregnant girlfriend.

Your friend


	30. Chapter 30

Hi, son:

Your best friend's mom and I paid the two of you a visit today. Standing together in front of your final resting places, she and I each silently read the epitaphs that were carved into the marble surface of your headstones beneath the dates of birth and death. She began weeping, which made me glance over at her and I realized just how much she loved her now deceased oldest child, just like how much I loved you, despite the fact that you're in a place that I won't see until it's my time to depart this life. When that happens, I hope you'll be there to escort me up to heaven.

After a few minutes of listening to your best friend's mom weep, I gently led her away from the graves that mark the spot where the two of you now rest side by side beneath the large pine tree on the cemetery hilltop, because that's where some of of your childhood memories were formed at. A sudden movement from the corner of my eye gave me pause and I suddenly sensed that you and your friend were standing right behind me.

Both your friend's mom and I slowly turned to face the large pine tree, only to see your transparent sixteen year old forms facing us with slight smiles on your faces and your arms slung across each other's shoulders, much like you had done in the photo I took of you both when you were just kids. Then you were both gone.

Your loving mom


	31. Chapter 31

Hey again, son:

It's been some time since I addressed a letter to you, which I apologize for. Both your friend's dad and I have been demanding for the driver whose car hit you to be held accountable, because she caused two deaths, one directly and one indirectly. Your friend's mom is a strong supporter in this, because her son ended his own life, which was a result of Joyce Winters' actions the day she decided to drive her car.

If we're successful in putting Joyce Winters behind bars, hopefully your mom and I, plus your sister and girlfriend will be able to start healing, not to mention that your friend's parents and younger sibling will also be able to begin healing themselves. I accompanied your pregnant girlfriend to the cemetery today so she could place a flower bouquet on your gravesite.

I stood back after helping her make the short climb up the hill to reach your gravesite in order to give her some time to mourn you. When she placed the bouquet on your grave and turned around to walk down the hill, I let her hang onto my arm so she wouldn't harm herself or your unborn daughter. Together, we both made it down the slight hill.

Your dad


	32. Chapter 32

Hey nephew:

You came to me in one of my dreams last night, appearing in your sixteen year old form, which is how I last saw you when you were alive. You emerged from a soft white light in the same clothing you had been wearing the day you died and walked towards where I stood. Together, we sat down in the clearing next to each other. I remember asking how you and your red haired best friend were doing and you admitted that the two of you were doing fine where you currently reside.

I can't remember how long we just sat there and talked or even what we talked about. but your red haired best friend also emerged from that soft white light to remind you that you needed to come back. We both stood up and you gave me a hug good bye before pulling away and asking me to please forgive Joyce Winters for her actions the day you died, because you saw no reason for her to be punished for what had been a simple accident.

Then, I watched you and your best friend walk into that soft, white light together and I felt myself back in my body. I lay there in the dark while I sobbed for your premature death for a few minutes before I realized just how truly free and happy you were in heaven.

Your uncle


	33. Chapter 33

Hey Stan:

Kenny managed to convince me to come with him to pay you and the redheaded former member of our one time foursome a visit today. I agreed, because I felt that I owed it to the two of you. I may have poked fun at him for his faith and his red hair when we were kids, but looking back now, I realize how dumb I was being. Funny how looking back on my childhood from a teenager's perspective made me cringe at how I tended to act towards others, isn't it?

Anyway, we both made the short climb up the hill to where you and your best friend now rest side by side beneath the pine tree that you both claimed as a childhood hangout spot. The two of us just stood next to each other for a few minutes in front of your graves and I realized just how happy your best friend was, now that he'd self released himself from his grief for you and no longer had to deal with the pain of having been separated from you for the last four and a half months.

The four of us had been a group for so many years that it's tough for both Kenny and I to make the adjustments that comes with being a duo since we're the two who are still on the physical side of things while you and your true blue friend are in the non physical side of things.

Your friend


	34. Chapter 34

Hey younger sib:

It's me again. I got to feel my niece's hearty kick for the first time today. I was again seated on the couch beside your expectant girlfriend when she gasped at the sudden tap against her large stomach. Having missed my chance to feel my niece kick last time, I asked if I could feel her kick. Your girlfriend agreed before she took my hand in hers as she pressed down on her belly and placed my hand over the place she'd pressed down on. The firm tap against my palm as your unborn daughter kicked made me smile slightly.

You would've made a wonderful father had you survived that hit and run. But you'll never get that chance now, because of Joyce Winters. My niece's been denied the chance to know or even meet her birth father because of that woman's actions on May 30th.

I still can't believe you've been deceased for roughly five months now. Given that you did your part in conceiving your daughter barely two weeks before your unexpected death, it's safe to assume that your daughter's due to arrive sometime in January. Hope I figured that correctly, so I won't miss being present for my niece's birth.

Your elder sis


	35. Chapter 35

Dear young man:

I still find myself hoping that I'll see my sixteen year old son walk through the front door of my house, followed closely by you, but then reality sets in and I remember that my son took his own life just to put an end to his suffering he was going through from having been witness to you being struck and killed by that callous woman five months ago.

I was the one who found both my son's suicide note and the letter he'd written to both his dad and I. I read both of them and realized that I had no idea just how much pain my son was feeling as a direct result of your death. Unlike your uncle, I don't believe your death was simply an accident, nor do I believe it was destined to happen.

Everytime I find myself weeping for not only your death, but for my son's suicide as well, I take some comfort in knowing the two of you are happy at having been reunited in death. It all goes back to that blood pact you both made when you were just kids, doesn't it? Never one without the other was your silent agreement.

From your friend's mom


	36. Chapter 36

Dear boyfriend:

Only four months to go before your daughter makes her debut into this world. I truly wish with all my heart that you were alive so you could be present for the birth of your daughter, but all the wishes in the world can't bring you back from the dead. Both your parents and sister have promised me that they'll be there for the birth of your daughter, since my own parents have pretty much disowned me.

I doubt my parents will want to be present for their granddaughter's birth, which I'll admit hurts a little, but it's really their loss if they miss Jewel's birth. You were killed on May 30th, which destroyed my chance to tell you I was pregnant with your daughter. Now that it's September 30th, I realize it's been exactly five months since Joyce Winters indirectly caused your passing.

In those five months, I've been visiting your gravesite on a daily basis. When I visited your grave today to mark the five month anniversary of your death, your mom and sister both decided to accompany me to the local cemetery, which I was grateful for.

Your girlfriend


	37. Chapter 37

Hey dude:

I saw your girlfriend in town today and her belly's huge from the growing baby that's inside her. Hard to believe that in just four short months, your child will be entering the world. It really is a shame that death's denied you the chance to witness your baby's birth.

I still don't know the name or gender of your unborn child because neither your parents nor your sister have told me what the baby's name will be, which sort of bothers me, since I was one of your friends. But maybe there's a reason why they haven't told me.

I wonder who your girlfriend's got in mind as far as a god parent goes for your unborn child. I hope it's me, but it's all up to your girlfriend. Maybe she's decided to wait until the birth of your child before revealing who she's chosen as the godfather of your child.

If that's her plan, I don't mind waiting four months to find out. If your child does turn out to be a girl, I wonder whose eyes she'd have. I can't say the same about your child's hair color though.

Your friend


	38. Chapter 38

Hey, young man:

I took a walk around town today, hoping to relieve the grief I still find myself feeling for my son's choice to end his pain and suffering, but I wasn't able to completely lessen my sorrow for the fact that I've lost my oldest son now. The snow began to fall gently from the sky as my walk continued, but I barely noticed it.

I found myself reflecting on some of the happier childhood memories I had of you both, some of which made me smile. I was so focused on those memories of your shared childhood that I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and bumped into the person walking by me.

I must have knocked him or her to the sidewalk, because I heard an 'oomph', followed by my looking down to see who it was that I'd bumped into, only to see that it was your formerly death prone friend, who was currently seated on the snowy sidewalk.

I quickly gave him an apology and helped him to his feet. He and I spent a few minutes talking and he told me just how sorry he was about my son's suicide before walking off.

Your best friend's dad


	39. Chapter 39

Dear Stan:

I know the two of us rarely hung out together when we were kids, because you tended to hang out with your three main friends more, but as we slowly approached our teenage years, you and I would occasionally just hang out on the few times any of your three usual friends were unavailable to hang out with you.

Despite the fact that I was never actually counted among those you considered your friends, I still look back with fondness on the few moments you invited me to tag along with you if you decided to see a movie or something. I was just hanging out at home the day you were killed, because I'd been grounded for the millionth time. The phone rang and mom answered it.

I watched her expression pale slightly as she listened to the person who was speaking on the other end of the line, but I couldn't hear what was being said by whoever was on the other end of the line. Mom finally put the phone down and approached me to tell me that you had just passed away. I just sat there on the couch in silence, because I had no idea how to react to the fact that you were now deceased.

Your occasional friend


	40. Chapter 40

Hey, little bro:

I was accompanied by the three surviving members of the family you left behind when I said I was on my way to go visit your final place of rest today. I had originally planned to just go by myself, but when mom, dad and our uncle offered to go with me, I found it difficult to refuse them, because they all deserved to pay you a visit.

When we all arrived at the cemetery, I headed through the graves, my gaze on on the pine tree that spread its branches out over your gravesite. Beside your grave was the grave of your best friend forever. Seeing both your graves side by side gave me pause, because it was a reminder of how close the two of you had been, ever since toddlerhood.

Anyway, mom, dad, our uncle and I just stood around in front of the headstone bearing your name, month, date and year of your birth and the month, date and year of your death for some time, not really saying anything. My gaze went from your headstone to some graves a short distance away, because I thought I'd seen you for a few short seconds, but you were gone in the next eyeblink.

Your loving sis


	41. Chapter 41

Dear sweet boy:

I had a rough time dealing with your death in the first few weeks, because it was so recent. Now though, it's gotten just a little bit easier to deal with the pain and grief I still feel from time to time in the now five months since you died.

I met with your girlfriend for lunch today, because she's also dealing with her own grief for you. During our lunch together, there were brief periods of conversation, but for the majority of the time, there was mostly silence between myself andyour girlfriend. Ever since her parents kicked her out of her house shortly after they'd found out she was pregnant, she's been sleeping in the guest room.

I'm proud of your girlfriend when she refused to give into her parents' demands of either aborting the pregnancy or giving up your daughter for adoption, because I'd be denied seeing my first grandchild grow up. I really hope your daughter will have your blue eyes, but it won't bother me if your daughter has your girlfriend's brown eyes.

Your devoted mom


	42. Chapter 42

Hey man:

I've not been to see you lately because it's a little tough for me to visit your gravesite and know that your life was cut short much too soon. I know I was kind of a dick to both you and our other two friends in our childhood, but I wish I could take that all back, even though I know I can't.

The day I celebrated my sixteenth birthday, you weren't the only one who wasn't present. Your best friend was too depressed at the time to come, but he wouldn't have come even if he weren't depressed by your death, because his disdain for me ran too deep.

It sucked that you were always the first of us to celebrate your birthday and I was the last of us to celebrate my birthday, but that's how our birthday order ended up being, huh? It was your birthday first, then the birthdays of the two K named members of the former foursome, followed by my birthday.

Looking back at our birth order, I realized I'd always be the youngest of us if you and your best friend forever were still alive, which a small part of me resents.

Your occasional friend


	43. Chapter 43

Hey Stan:

I know you and I never really hung out when the two of us were kids, because you tended to stick with the three members of your little circle, but you never treated me with indifference or judged me by the fact that I'm not white. For that, I'll always be grateful. I'm not suprised that you managed to get your girlfriend pregnant with your child.

Word spread fast about your grilfriend's pregnancy among the high school student body, which is how I managed to find out. I can't say I was all that suprised to learn that your best friend forever had taken his own life just to be reunited with you. I may have missed your funeral, but that's only because I hadn't been told about it or even told when it'd be held.

In the now five and a half months since I found out about your death and your girlfriend's pregnancy, I realize that your girlfriend will always be devoted to your memory and being a good mother to your child. It's kind of a shame that you won't be there on our graduation day in a couple of years,but then neither will your best friend forever.


	44. Chapter 44

To my departed boyfriend:

I went to the doctor's today for my weekly ultrasound, accompanied by your mom and sister. I lay there on the bench while the doctor placed some gel onto my stomach and my thoughts went to you. A single tear trickled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away before anyone could see it.

The doctor began moving the wand across my gel coated stomach and I heard the 'boomp, boomp, boomp' of our daughter's heartbeat as it filled the room. I glanced over at the ultrasound monitor and saw my first glimpse of the child we managed to create barely two weeks before you unexpectedly left this plane of existence.

Seeing that glimpse of our daughter for the first time caused tears to spring to my eyes, because you should have been present to get your first glimpse of our unborn daughter. Your mom and sister saw the tears that had filled my eyes, but wisely chose not to comment on it.

Joyce Winters robbed you of the chance to help raise our daughter together, which is something I can't bring myself to forgive her for.

Your devoted and expectant girlfriend


	45. Chapter 45

Hi, darling boy:

In just four short months, your girlfriend will be bringing your daughter into this world. I can hardly wait another four months till your daughter makes her offical debut. During your girlfriend's ultrasound last week, my gaze never left the ultrasound machine monitor, because of the image of your unborn daughter that was on the screen.

My eyes grew a little misty at seeing that image of your daughter, because it only reminded me that you couldn't be part of your daughter's birth. It's October now, which means your daughter is due to arrive in January sometime. It's your birthday month, which means you'd be turning seventeen this year if you were still alive.

Even though you're no longer alive, your dad, sister, uncle and I still celebrated your seventeenth birthday in your memory. It's all we can do to honor your life and memory. Your girlfriend was also be part of your birthday celebration, because she's carrying your unborn child in her belly.

Every day that passes brings me a little bit closer to joining you and your best friend in heaven.

Love, mom


	46. Chapter 46

Hi, son:

I'm so looking forward to the birth of your daughter in January. I can't wait to hold her her for the first time. Your mom no longer cries that much anymore, but there's still a small part of her that's somewhat depressed. As for me, I'm holding up fairly well, given that you've been deceased for nearly six months.

I decided to go pay you another visit today, but when I got to the cemetery, your one time death prone blonde friend was already at your gravesite, just sitting cross legged on the ground. I softly cleared my throat, which made him look over his shoulder at me.

I asked him if I could join him and he said it was ok. Taking a seat next to him in front of your final resting place, he and I sat in an awkard silence for a few minutes before he asked me about your unborn daughter's progress and who your girlfriend had chosen to be godfather to your unborn daughter.

I admitted that I had no idea who your girlfriend's picked to be godfather to your unborn daughter.

Your dad


	47. Chapter 47

Hey dude:

I saw your girlfriend in town today and couldn't help but notice her belly's huge, given that she's now six months along in her pregnancy with your unborn daughter. A snarky comment itched to escape my mouth, but I forced it back, because she'd slap me or something. Despite her now huge belly, she still looks as slender as she was before her present pregnancy.

The two surviving members of the onetime foursome have gradually drifted apart in the months since you left this life. You were always the connecting link of the four of us. If it hadn't been for you, I would've had parted ways with the two K named members of our little group years ago.

It's not fair that you're rotting away six feet under the earth. I hope Joyce Winters is suffering for having caused your death on May 30th. My aimless wandering around town led me to the local cemetery and I pushed open the gates before going through and making my way towards the hilltop where you and your best friend forever now lay side by side, like you had always planned.

Once I approached the hilltop, I made the short climb up to the tree and just spent some time in front of your grave, not sure what to say. As I stood there, I suddenly sensed both the presences of you and your best friend forever close to where I stood. I glanced up towards the tree that stood behind your graves and noticed your transparent forms standing next to each other.

Our gazes met and you silently told me you had always thought of me as an occasional friend, despite the fact I would poke fun at you from time to time. Then, both you and your best friend forever were suddenly gone in my next eyeblink.

E.C


	48. Chapter 48

Hey there, nephew:

Only three months are all that remain before your girlfriend brings your daughter into this world. It started snowing during my visit to your gravesite today and I wondered how life in heaven was faring for you. It's now early November and your girlfriend's now six months along in her pregnancy.

I keep a copy of an ultrasound image of your unborn daughter in my coat pocket as a reminder that while you may not be part of the physical world anymore, half of your genes will live on in your child. Jewel's arrival in January will be the first winter birth among your surviving family members.

I've got a strong suspicion that your former death prone blonde friend is who your girlfriend's chosen to be godfather to your child. I'm hoping that she isn't going to follow your best friend's example and orphan her child just to see you again. The next time I see your girlfriend, I plan to cautiously bring that up and see what she tells me about that.

Your uncle


	49. Chapter 49

Dear boyfriend:

Jewel woke me up this morning when she decided to take another pot shot at my stomach. Feeling her hearty kick made my eyes fly open. The moment they'd opened, my gaze went to the foot of the bed I currently lay in and saw you at the foot of the bed, bathed in a soft glow. I found myself wondering why you'd come to see me.

You silently told me that you'd come to see how I and our unborn child were doing. I said that we were both doing fine. Then, you moved from the end of the bed and sat beside me on the bed before you ever so lightly rested your hand on my huge belly, which was something you should've lived to do.

I think Jewel must have sensed your presence or something the moment you lightly placed your slightly transparent hand on my belly, because she gave another kick. I again felt tears well up in my eyes at feeling her second kick.

I blinked away my tears while I asked you why you had chosen to leave me and our daughter behind. You silently told me you regretted leaving both me and our child, but you also admitted that the car accident six months ago was destined to happen and you weren't supposed to survive it.

Your heavily expectant girlfriend


End file.
